Rape is not an Accident

Earlier today, I read an article on CNN about the Morning After Pill as a form of birth control.  <http://www.cnn.com/2013/04/10/opinion/nucatola-emergency-contraception/index.html.>  The article argues that accidents happen even to people who use birth control responsibly, necessitating the use of emergency contraceptives.

 “The bottom line is that the use of reliable birth control is the best way to prevent an unintended pregnancy, but the fact is that unprotected sex does occur and sometimes birth control methods do fail. A condom could break, a woman could forget to take a pill, or nonconsensual sex could occur.”

While I agree with the premise of this article, one thing is jarringly wrong - non-consensual sex does not exist.  If consent is not given, then the events that follow are not sex, but rape.  Even more importantly, unlike a condom breaking, rape is not an accident.  Rape is a violation of another human being’s basic right to decide who touches his or her body, and where. 

There are many misconceptions in our society about sexual assault, and this is perhaps one of the most dangerous.  By implying that rape is an accident, we remove blame from the perpetrators of sexual violence, and place it onto the victims and survivors, who “should have been more careful.”  It should not be acceptable for a rapist to wake up in the morning and say “Oops, I raped someone last night! Oh well, accidents happen...”.  Just as importantly, no sexual assault survivor should ever feel like the assault was his or her fault because he or she wasn’t careful enough.  Messages of victim blaming can range from subtle, such as telling girls that they need to protect themselves from rape, to obvious, as was seen in the Steubenville case, and the bullying that this young Canadian woman endured before taking her own life.  <http://www.cnn.com/2013/04/10/justice/canada-teen-suicide/index.html?hpt=hp_t2.>  

Sexual assault can be devastating and life altering.  According to the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN, <http://www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/sexual-assault-victims>), rape victims and survivors are 3 times more likely to suffer from depression, 6 times more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, and 4 times more likely to contemplate suicide.  We, as a society, need to help our victims and survivors by placing blame on the perpetrators of violence, instead of viewing rape as an unfortunate accident.  We also need to stop using non-sensical euphemisms such as “nonconsensual sex”.  By associating rape with sex, we normalize it and minimize its significance.  We place it into the same category as “bad sex”, “unprotected sex”, and “virgin sex”, labeling it as an unfortunate and unpleasant event as opposed to the violent, horrifying crime that it is.  These attitudes about rape are ingrained in our society, and are incredibly difficult to overcome.  Not only do they make it difficult for victims and survivors to speak out about their assault, enabling rapists to get away with their crime, but they are devastating to the mental and emotional recovery process of victims and survivors.  

The facts of rape are difficult to face, not only because they are terrifying but because they are shrouded in silence, mystery, and shame.  So ask questions, learn the facts, and speak out.  Rape can affect anybody: gay, bi, or straight; trans or cis gender; man or woman; young or old; disabled or not disabled; party-goer or honor student; athlete or musician; Christian or atheist; child or parent; student or teacher; single or married; scientist or lawyer; lawmaker or reporter.  And until every member of society faces the truth about rape, victim-blaming attitudes will not change.