6 years

6 years.
May 19th.
Wednesday night. 
My body remembers. It knows it was tonight.
Fear
Nausea
Eyes
Fear
Heart pounding
Agonizing pain
Yelling
Blood
Not sleeping, just wanting the night to be over
Desperate to appease 
Fear

6 years.
Of checking out.
Of numbing the pain.
Of trying to escape.
Of flashbacks.
Of triggers.
Of trying to protect myself. 
Of trying to forget.

6 years of surviving.
Of accepting.
Of learning how to live with this, how to trust my brain again. 
How to trust myself again.
Of love.
Of heartbreak.
Of new beginnings.

6 years of badassery.
Of friends and family.
Of love.
Of brave sisterhood.
Of strength.
Of justice.
Of healing.
Of hope.
Of light.
Of darkness.
Of faith.

But tonight my body remembers.
6 years

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